Being a mom is wonderful.
I love my little boy.
I love our days together.
I love seeing him when Mark brings his hungry little self into our room in the morning.
I love nursing him.
I love knowing that I can nourish him with my own body. I mean, how amazing is that.
I love all the little sounds he makes.
I love seeing him change and grow every day.
Being a mom is also hard.
I love Jake. So much.
But sometimes our days together just seem so LONG and by the time Mark gets home I’m literally desperate to take a shower. Or eat something. Or just stand up from the couch and walk around.
And sometimes the morning comes too soon. Especially since my brain can’t seem to turn itself off until 2am anymore, so when he wakes up at 6 or 7 and Mark is super excited that Jake slept “all night again,” I’m still a groggy mess.
And nursing… well, it IS getting better. But also more complicated. Sometimes it still hurts, and hurts BAD. And lately I keep asking myself if he is getting enough food, because sometimes I’ll just sit there and try for hours to feed him, and he’ll be “eating,” but seem like he’s starving afterwards. So I’m like, chugging water now trying to make sure my supply is staying up. But man. It’s confusing.
And is it normal for babies to cry so much? Like, just because they’re gassy? No normal person does that. Like, if you have to burp, you just do it. So why is it such a big deal for babies?!
And as much as I love all these changes and how he’s growing, I wish he’d stop! I feel like if I blink I’m gonna miss some important milestone, or forget to write something down, or forget to take a picture or a video or agh!!!!
Okay. Done venting.
And honestly, I have never been happier. But it has been a long day, and it helps me feel better to get all my stresses out on here. Plus, I’m really hoping someone will read this and tell me that this is all normal and every mom feels like this sometimes.