Do you know how hard it is to find yellow clothes?
Not nasty citron…not mustard… yellow. Creamy, dreamy yellow.
I have searched the better part of San Antonio for the perfect yellow dress. Or skirt. Or blouse. Or anything.
And it does not exist.
Well, it does, but not for me. I want my clothes to be modest; going to my knees, covering my shoulders, not busting with cleavage.
But if I wanted to wear a bright yellow romper, or a see-through crop top, I could totes do that.
I was given multiple signs today that people who do not shop with their kids do not like people who shop with their kids.
And I’m pretty sure rich people don’t like kids.
Okay. That’s a lie. But I went to a Saks Fifth Avenue Off 5th store (Nordstrom Rack, but for Saks Fifth). I was hoping that if I stepped out of my comfort zone and into ritzy territory, I might find my dream dress. Or anything yellow.
So I go in, Jake on my hip, and get ready to strap him into a fancy cart.
But there’s a sign on the cart.
“Please do not put children in cart.”
I searched around and flipped metal flaps around and came to the realization that their carts were not equipped to strap in my hunk of baby love.
I’m pretty sure I stood there for at least 5 minutes with a look that must have said “The nerve!”
I went outside, found a cart from another store, and brought it in. And after 5 minutes I didn’t find anything in the clearance rack under $200. So I left.
Another side story:
I went into Urban Outfitters, and immediately knew it wasn’t for me.
But I saw an elevator. YES! I can go to the upper level and exit in a new part of the mall and find new stores!
I go up, see signs pointing to the exit, you know, big, green, giant “EXIT” signs. And I finally locate the exit. Kind of a random door, but there was no sign on it that said “emergency exit only” or anything. So I pushed.
It didn’t move. I pushed harder, desperate to get me and my child out of this hipster store that we clearly didn’t belong in.
That’s when the alarm went off. And all the hipster people around me plugged their ears. And I tried making the great escape with my stroller but it kept running in to clothes racks.
And about that time I decided to start heading back to my car.
I don’t belong in malls.
Also, I tried making chocolate chip cookies tonight. I made two different kinds. Both basically suck.
I think I’m gonna be one of those moms who buy the delicious cookies at Costco. It’s just not my thing. I wanted it to be. But I’ve accepted that not everyone can be a great chocolate chip cookie maker. And I’m mostly okay with that.