Happiness.

So, I don’t think enough people actually read my blog for this to be necessary, but just in case I have millions of secret followers who are just obsessed with the sporadic ramblings of my life, I wanted to let ya’ll know I’m changing things up a bit!

I started this website with the intention of it being all about my music. I had all these ideas for adding a downloads page, links to my YouTube, a calendar for upcoming gigs, that kind of thing. But my music is still a work in progress. RIght now, my LIFE is what is happening. Motherhood, wife-hood, and music is there, too. But what I’m more passionate about right now, even more than my music, is HAPPINESS.

I am a happy person. It hasn’t always been that way. I have worked SO hard to get to where I am now, and I know I have a long way to go. But I have spent the last few years making changes to all aspects of my life, and it has helped me live a much happier, more fulfilling life. So I want to share my “happiness secrets” with you.

I’ll still be sharing songs I’ve written and all that, but most of my music is about trying to be happy anyway!

I truly believe that God wants us to THRIVE, not just exist. We should treat our bodies like they are the only ones we get. We should feed our spirits with positive, uplifting messages and knowledge. We should always try to be better than we are. We should overcome fear and let faith take it’s place.

I wrote this song a while ago, while I was pregnant with Amy. I was having a hard time handling my morning sickness in combination with my severe phobia of throwing up (emetophobia, it’s a thing). Listening to the song now, it seems kind of mellow dramatic. But this song turned into being about so much more than that one challenge for me. Writing the words to this song was so therapeutic and helped me see how much God loves me and wants me to trust in Him, even when I hate waiting around in the dark. It’s uncomfortable and scary to not know how long trials will last, or when they will come, but I know that whatever we face, it’s for our good. Every hardship we face is BECAUSE HE LOVES US! Isn’t that crazy? If we could just remember that when things get hard, so much fear could be replaced by faith and reassurance, knowing that it will ALWAYS be ok in the end.

So here’s “It’s Worth it.” And I hope you continue to follow along for help in becoming a happier, healthier person.

 

 

Ramblings.

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, so excuse me while I just unload the contents of my frazzled mom brain.

I love being a mom. It’s amazing. It is so hard, but at the end of the day, I feel so fulfilled.

But being a mom is not exactly “glamorous” per se.

There are days when I feel like a super lame mom. Days when Jake watches two (or more) whole Pixar movies. Days when I don’t get to shower. Or remember to shower. Or remember to pee. Like, I literally have to remind myself to pee. And eat. And feed the cats. Cause mothering is a NON-STOP job. If one kid doesn’t need me, the other does. And then on those glorious moments when both kids are sleeping at the same time, it’s like a race to see how much I can accomplish, or I just collapse and waste that precious time taking a shower or sitting down to eat. It’s so crazy and SUCH a busy life.

I fantasize about having a perfectly run household. Having an exercise routine. Having meals planned out. Eating only whole foods and actually having the time to prepare them. I’ve recently discovered that white sugar/flour is a no-go for me (it’s probably a no-go for everyone, really) because it makes my anxiety/irritability way worse, so it’s just not worth the temporary satisfaction that is sugar.

I have all these things I tell myself I have to do, and when the day is done and I barely managed to keep my kids fed and happy, sometimes I feel like I’m failing.

But I know that’s a lie. Nobody cares if my house is Pinterest-perfect or if we eat organic or if we sat down and bonded over home-made crafts. We just do the best we can.

And for goodness sakes, I just had a baby four months ago.

On another awesome note, I FINALLY figured out a way to make time for my music. I now switch off babysitting with a friend so we each have a three hour block each week to work on our creative outlets KID FREE. It’s amazing. Thanks to this new arrangement, I may just have a new song to put up on YouTube for the first time in a year or so. So yay!

Also, we’re in the process of buying a house! WHAT?!

It’s the house we’ve been renting for three years. So it’s not exactly as exciting as like, buying a house normally is. But it’s about to be ours! Which means I can paint the kitchen cabinets! 😀

Life is good. Busy and crazy and messy, but wonderful.

Now it’s time to get Jake down for a nap, she says with peaceful solidarity.